Tired of men misreading your friendly gestures as flirting? Here’s the science

Men’s favourite saying, ‘I thought you were into me,’ is a woman’s biggest dread. It happens frequently when men misinterpret women’s friendly behaviour as flirting, digging for some delusional romantic interest.  When women are simply polite and kind, men sniff around for non-existent romantic signals in their friendly gestures. They simply assume women are into them. Well, looks like there’s a lot of science behind this behaviour. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology sheds light on the role of testosterone, men’s sex hormone, in determining how social cues are understood.
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Many psychologists have tried to understand the impulsive tendency to jump to quick conclusions, suggesting it may even have evolutionary origins. The urgency arises from the fear of missing out on a potential mate to avoid poor reproductive consequences. This study focused on the impact of testosterone in shaping male behaviour.
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Study author Stefan MM Goetz said, “The sexual overperception hypothesis has become a key example in evolutionary psychology. It suggests that due to the adaptive advantage of minimizing missed mating opportunities, men tend to overestimate sexual interest.” Goetz added, “While researchers have studied many ‘how’ questions on sex differences in behaviour, few have investigated whether testosterone, a hormone mediating male-typical traits, links to this bias—and none has shown causal evidence.” The researchers studied a group of 190 heterosexual men aged 18 to 40.
Testosterone doesn’t act alone in leading men to misinterpret a woman’s friendliness. Self-perceived attractiveness means men who view themselves as more handsome are more likely to assert themselves and overestimate the friendliness of romantic interest.
Testosterone increases the sensitivity to friendly gestures only in men who know they are somewhat attractive. So, only a positive self-image boosts the hormone’s effect. Men often project their own romantic interest onto women, leading them to believe that the woman is interested in him when, in fact, he is the one who is attracted to her. Testosterone increases the tendency of this projection to happen.
The researchers also shed light on what shapes male behaviour. The sex hormone testosterone is not solely responsible; other factors, such as cultural and social influences, also play important roles. Gender roles and behaviour arise from the complex forces of biological and environmental factors, especially the latter playing a major hand in moulding masculinity.
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